Good morning and welcome to XYZ Hospital. We’re glad you chose us as your healthcare provider. My name is Terry, and I will be your CRNA (certified registered nurse anesthetist) for today’s scheduled operation.
Please assist us by moving over from your uncomfortable stretcher onto our even more uncomfortable OR table, replete with ice cold sheets and a cozy pink foam headrest.
We can see your face, but YOU cannot see ours. That’s because we are all wearing masks. No, we really have nothing to hide and there’s nothing unsettlingly metaphysical going down here. Surgery must be done in a sterile environment, and that means an absence of all germs and micro-organisms. We cover our mouths and our hair to keep germ counts to a minimum.
Fasten your seatbelt, please. KIDDING! Your OR nurse will place a safety belt across your body to help keep you securely positioned on the OR table. This may be mistakenly misinterpreted by YOU as meaning that you are now permanently shackled in this torture chamber of horrors and ohmigod there’s no turning back. Relax, the drugs should start working any second now.
I will place padded armboards at either side of the bed for each of your arms to rest upon. These armrests will be placed at a less than 90 degree angle from your body, to keep your arms comfortable, away from the surgical team while they are working, and safe from positioning injury. Please immediately toss out any and all crucifixion imagery that this position may evoke in you.
General anesthesia, or going into a deep deep sleep for your operation, has been likened to an airplane ride. All of the usual metaphors apply.
Takeoff, or what is referred to as the induction phase of anesthesia, starts with the engines revving up. Prior to you coming into the OR, I have checked and triple-checked all of my equipment, dials, gauges, medications, gear, and safeguards to ensure a safe and uneventful trip for you. YOU will breathe from a mask that I place gently over your mouth and nose. This gets rid of all of the stale air and smog that normally sits in your lungs, and replaces it with fresh and pure unadulterated oxygen. Think of it as your own highly personalized oxygen bar. Simultaneously, and seamlessly, YOU will begin to get increasingly sleepy, as drugs are being delivered to you via your IV (intravenous). I will be right next to you as YOU go off to sleep, and watching over you every second during your operation. I will talk in your ear and tell you this as you drift off. I will reassure YOU.
Once cruising altitude is achieved, this is known as the maintenance phase of your anesthetic. All of the maneuvers that it takes to get YOU into your deep deep sleep have been achieved, and the surgical team can now do their job without YOU ever feeling it or knowing it. I am in constant connection with you and all of the monitors and fancy gadgets that YOU are hooked up to, and I can easily keep you anesthetized for as long as your surgery takes.
And then there is landing, or what is commonly referred to in my business as emergence. It’s also called “waking up.” As your operation draws to a close, I have titrated up some analgesic medication as I begin to titrate down your anesthesia, and perfectly time your wake-up with the end of the case. My goals throught: your safety and comfort.
Your safety belt can be unfastened at this time. I hope you had a pleasant anesthesia experience. Thank you for choosing XYZ Hospital. You are now free to roam about the OR.
This is my office:
This is my cockpit:
This is my toolshed:
How I love your writing! Hope you decide to publish these essays into book or booklet form and find a great publisher!
This, THIS is the web site I’ve been looking for! I’m a beginning nursing student (2nd career), and interesting in learning about what CNRAs do on a daily basis. Also, I love nursing stories. Keep up the good work!
My (limited) experience in the OR prompts me to ask this question:
So during the “maintenance” phase are you a crossword-puzzle completer, yoga gymnast, online stock market enthusiast, napper, or none of the above?
[…] good introduction to the blog can be found here. An […]
Ah, the yoga gymnasts: I remember watching cardiac surgery once and noticing that the Anesthesiologist spent a great deal of time doing yoga. It made a deep impression on me: here was a cardiac surgeon, all stress and high-powered insensity, and not five feet away was this mellow and kindly Anesthesia fellow who was more than happy to chat with me in between bouts of Yoga and mysterious anesthesia tasks.
Love your writing.
Absolutely beautiful!
[…] of Shift (and proprietor of Everyday Nurses Forum), Terry takes us on a trip through the fog at Fly Me posted at her blog Counting Sheep. Check out a few other posts while you are there. It’s […]
Thanks for the well-written tour/travel guide. I have been a patient on the table, but I can’t remember any of it for some reason (probably means job-well-done given your blog ;-).
Hi, I own, administrate and offer council through an on-line support group for Endometriosis sufferers. As you must be aware, we who suffer with this painful and often debilitating disease most often must endure one to several surgeries in order to cope with our pain. Some even have the added struggles of fighting adhesions which cause further pain, complications, even more surgeries and sometimes life threatening issues just from the first surgeries we had to try to control the original endo pain. Sometimes it can seem a vicious circle with no end, as endo has no cure, only treatments that sometimes offer relief. One of the hardest to endure, besides the pain, is the fear of surgery, more often than not I answer letters and post to what it’s like to have surgery, especially for the first timers. THANK YOU for this blog, since I found it I have offered it to many women seeking comfort and education on what it will be like or involve, this blog is EXCELLENT at reliving many fears.
Sorry this is so long but I really wanted to thank you, from all of us who this blog has touched and helped, your sincerity and heart shines through your words.
In appreciation for your gift, Loretta
EndoLights* Support Group Administrator.